1
00:00:19,319 --> 00:00:22,919
(LAUGHING MISCHIEVOUSLY)

2
00:00:27,461 --> 00:00:31,531
Hey, hey,Wacky Race fans.

3
00:00:31,598 --> 00:00:32,998
as the racers zoom across

4
00:00:33,067 --> 00:00:37,567
the fabled Strait of Gibraltar,

5
00:00:37,638 --> 00:00:39,708
(EXPLOSION)

6
00:00:39,773 --> 00:00:41,613
-(SHARK SNARLING)
-BRICK: (YELLS) Ow, ow, ow!

7
00:00:41,675 --> 00:00:43,405
Breath-taking,
simply ravishing.

8
00:00:43,477 --> 00:00:45,177
Such rugged
animal magnetism.

9
00:00:45,246 --> 00:00:47,976
Peter, darling,
are you looking in the mirror again?

10
00:00:48,049 --> 00:00:49,979
What, no, of course... Hey!

11
00:00:50,051 --> 00:00:51,621
We're in boats. Cool.

12
00:00:51,685 --> 00:00:55,255
(ENGINE REVS)

13
00:00:55,322 --> 00:00:57,462
(SEAGULLS SQUAWKING)

14
00:00:57,524 --> 00:00:58,694
(SEAGULLS CONTINUE SQUAWKING)

15
00:00:58,759 --> 00:01:01,459
Muttley, fire the freeze ray!

16
00:01:01,528 --> 00:01:05,228
MUTTLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

17
00:01:05,299 --> 00:01:08,499
(LAUGHING) Too bad,
none of you have the advantage

18
00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:10,199
of snow tires.

19
00:01:10,270 --> 00:01:12,970
(TIRES SCREECHING)

20
00:01:15,809 --> 00:01:18,659
-So?
-So, it's hot.

21
00:01:21,448 --> 00:01:23,878
Drat!

22
00:01:23,951 --> 00:01:26,521
Uh-oh, Muttley,
emergency surface!

23
00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:30,857
(PANTING) Whoo!

24
00:01:30,925 --> 00:01:33,085
Get rowing,
you nautical nincompoop.

25
00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:34,600
There they are.
Hurry!

26
00:01:34,661 --> 00:01:38,501
We must catch them
before something

27
00:01:38,565 --> 00:01:41,965
Drat! (SCREAMING)

28
00:01:42,036 --> 00:01:47,036
MUTTLEY: (MUTTERING)Razzle, razzle.

29
00:01:47,775 --> 00:01:49,425
(SQUEAKING)

30
00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:55,054
-(SQUEAKS)
-Are they both okay?

31
00:01:55,116 --> 00:01:57,516
Hey, you guys know
I actually exploded

32
00:01:57,585 --> 00:02:01,515
-and was eaten
by a shark, right? -(SHARK GROWLING)

33
00:02:01,588 --> 00:02:02,818
ALL: The usual.

34
00:02:02,890 --> 00:02:04,890
You mean,
you sniveling slobs sabotaged

35
00:02:04,959 --> 00:02:07,189
my success with your
sophomoric shenanigans?

36
00:02:07,261 --> 00:02:10,801
(GRUNTS) Why do I
taste like a Romanian?

37
00:02:10,864 --> 00:02:13,974
(SNICKERING)

38
00:02:14,034 --> 00:02:16,644
when we race down the coast
to the city of Casablanca.

39
00:02:16,703 --> 00:02:18,813
Oh, Casablanca.

40
00:02:18,872 --> 00:02:20,942
So many memories.

41
00:02:21,008 --> 00:02:22,878
It was years ago, when I met her

42
00:02:22,943 --> 00:02:26,183
in romantic, black-and-white Casablanca.

43
00:02:26,247 --> 00:02:28,017
I was running an ice cream parlor

44
00:02:28,082 --> 00:02:30,022
in the Satire District of the old city.

45
00:02:30,084 --> 00:02:32,254
Give me a rocky fudge,
blood ripple, two scoops.

46
00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:34,760
Oh, and one
of those really long ice cream spoons.

47
00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:36,592
-Bleh. Those are fun.
-(DOOR OPENS)

48
00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:40,587
Then, suddenly, she came in.

49
00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:44,631
(THUDDING FOOTSTEPS)

50
00:02:44,698 --> 00:02:46,598
Beautiful, articulate...

51
00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:51,667
-(CRASHING)-Room temperature.

52
00:02:52,139 --> 00:02:54,639
We danced, we started a bug farm,

53
00:02:54,708 --> 00:02:58,078
we went to New York.

54
00:02:58,145 --> 00:02:59,775
She would climb the Empire State Building

55
00:02:59,847 --> 00:03:01,247
and swat down airplanes.

56
00:03:01,315 --> 00:03:03,545
-(SIGHS SOFTLY)
-What happened?

57
00:03:03,618 --> 00:03:06,348
Did she leave for some noble,
self-sacrificing reason

58
00:03:06,420 --> 00:03:09,620
but carries your love
with her always in a secret part of her heart?

59
00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:11,630
No, it was
the same old story.

60
00:03:11,693 --> 00:03:15,133
She was discovered by a British talent agent/German spy

61
00:03:15,196 --> 00:03:17,196
and left me for the English music halls.

62
00:03:17,264 --> 00:03:19,034
There she worked with, married, divorced,

63
00:03:19,100 --> 00:03:21,040
and eventually ate Charlie Chaplin.

64
00:03:21,102 --> 00:03:22,272
Translated the less complicated works

65
00:03:22,336 --> 00:03:24,166
of Shakespeare into American,

66
00:03:24,238 --> 00:03:26,668
and co-founded the uplifting American music group

67
00:03:26,740 --> 00:03:28,010
High in the Air with Humans.

68
00:03:28,075 --> 00:03:33,075
-(BALLOONS BURSTING)
-(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

69
00:03:33,347 --> 00:03:37,647
which my guidebook says
is Arabic for shopping mall.

70
00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:38,988
This place is amazing.

71
00:03:39,053 --> 00:03:40,793
-(PLAYING MIZMAR)
-The sounds, the smells.

72
00:03:40,854 --> 00:03:43,564
The sights.

73
00:03:43,624 --> 00:03:46,594
Yawn!

74
00:03:46,660 --> 00:03:48,060
Look at all this!

75
00:03:48,129 --> 00:03:50,469
It's all so beautiful
and exotic.

76
00:03:50,531 --> 00:03:52,971
Ooh, what's
this strange delicacy?

77
00:03:53,033 --> 00:03:54,743
A cheeseburger,
it's my lunch.

78
00:03:54,802 --> 00:03:55,802
You gonna buy anything?

79
00:03:55,869 --> 00:03:57,639
Um, maybe this?

80
00:03:57,704 --> 00:03:58,974
I wouldn't.

81
00:03:59,039 --> 00:04:00,909
-Why not?
-It's cursed.

82
00:04:00,975 --> 00:04:04,435
Okay, then, maybe this?

83
00:04:04,511 --> 00:04:05,881
See the sign?

84
00:04:05,946 --> 00:04:07,916
Ah. Well, I don't want
anything cursed.

85
00:04:07,982 --> 00:04:11,422
Not after
that talisman I bought

86
00:04:11,485 --> 00:04:12,645
I hate it.

87
00:04:12,719 --> 00:04:13,719
It's like everything I own

88
00:04:13,787 --> 00:04:15,857
is made of
mashed-up Cupids.

89
00:04:15,923 --> 00:04:20,923
You're not gonna buy
anything, are you?

90
00:04:20,995 --> 00:04:22,855
There must be
somebody out there

91
00:04:22,930 --> 00:04:24,970
unwise enough to buy...

92
00:04:25,032 --> 00:04:27,602
(LAUGHS CUNNINGLY)
Bingo!

93
00:04:27,668 --> 00:04:29,638
(HISSING)

94
00:04:29,703 --> 00:04:31,013
You appear
to be leaking air.

95
00:04:31,071 --> 00:04:34,681
You should
get yourself repaired.

96
00:04:34,742 --> 00:04:37,282
Are you looking
for something in particular?

97
00:04:37,345 --> 00:04:38,845
Well, not unless
you have something that would make

98
00:04:38,912 --> 00:04:40,582
the gearheaded goons
I work with

99
00:04:40,648 --> 00:04:42,978
behave like regular,
reasonable people.

100
00:04:43,050 --> 00:04:44,120
Ha, I got that!

101
00:04:44,185 --> 00:04:46,685
-(GRUNTS)
-What is that?

102
00:04:46,753 --> 00:04:49,623
A magic lamp.

103
00:04:49,691 --> 00:04:51,931
Please, I'm not some
simpering sightseer.

104
00:04:51,993 --> 00:04:55,603
-Okay, I'll throw in
this pink hedgehog. -(SNICKERING)

105
00:04:55,663 --> 00:04:58,203
Well, I suppose
I should at least try this thing out.

106
00:04:58,265 --> 00:05:01,065
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah. Hmm.

107
00:05:01,135 --> 00:05:03,095
-(SQUEAKING)
-I knew it. Nothing but a...

108
00:05:03,170 --> 00:05:04,340
(BOTH COUGHING)

109
00:05:04,405 --> 00:05:06,005
All right, what do
you guys want?

110
00:05:06,073 --> 00:05:07,813
Well, there's no need
to be rude.

111
00:05:07,875 --> 00:05:10,205
Sorry, you just
rubbed me the wrong way.

112
00:05:10,276 --> 00:05:11,476
(RIMSHOT)

113
00:05:11,545 --> 00:05:12,645
What can I do you for?

114
00:05:12,713 --> 00:05:14,113
I get three wishes, correct?

115
00:05:14,181 --> 00:05:15,921
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
standard contract.

116
00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:17,553
Paragraph C, subsection 12.

117
00:05:17,618 --> 00:05:19,748
"The party in the first part,
as a prequisite

118
00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:21,520
"of his and her
employment,

119
00:05:21,589 --> 00:05:24,259
"shall deliver unto
the legal owner of the lamp

120
00:05:24,325 --> 00:05:25,955
"three and only three wishes,

121
00:05:26,026 --> 00:05:28,796
"each having a moral lesson
or ironic twist."

122
00:05:28,862 --> 00:05:32,232
So what do you really want?

123
00:05:32,299 --> 00:05:35,469
if my exasperating escorts
would end embarrassing me

124
00:05:35,536 --> 00:05:39,336
with their insipidly
ingratiating international antics.

125
00:05:39,407 --> 00:05:41,037
Uh, could you
be more specific

126
00:05:41,108 --> 00:05:43,238
and maybe slightly less
alliterative?

127
00:05:43,310 --> 00:05:45,610
I want them to be less
like themselves.

128
00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:48,380
Less nice and sweet
and all "Fair play"

129
00:05:48,449 --> 00:05:51,819
and "Good try, Dickie,"
and "Oh, let's go shopping."

130
00:05:51,885 --> 00:05:53,645
I want them to be
more like...

131
00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:55,220
-more like...
-Yes, yes?

132
00:05:55,289 --> 00:05:57,319
-More like?
-Me!

133
00:05:57,391 --> 00:05:59,461
I wish they were all
more like me.

134
00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:01,596
(COUGHING)

135
00:06:01,662 --> 00:06:04,102
Wow, sorry, I think
a truck went by.

136
00:06:04,164 --> 00:06:06,674
Here's your wish.

137
00:06:06,733 --> 00:06:08,173
No, how could
a truck...

138
00:06:08,235 --> 00:06:11,335
Well, we're on a roof.

139
00:06:11,405 --> 00:06:13,305
-(CACTUS SCREAMING)
-Oh, oh!

140
00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:16,443
(SNORING)

141
00:06:16,509 --> 00:06:21,349
(MUTTLEY SNORING)

142
00:06:21,415 --> 00:06:24,175
(SCREAMS)
Razzle, razzle, razzle.

143
00:06:24,251 --> 00:06:26,851
It's morning. This is
an opportune opportunity

144
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:28,460
to incapacitate
their conveyances

145
00:06:28,522 --> 00:06:31,832
with my clandestine
cache of... (GROANS)

146
00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:34,662
(GASPS)

147
00:06:34,729 --> 00:06:37,299
I'm assuring my vainglorious
victory this very day

148
00:06:37,364 --> 00:06:39,704
with this strategically
secretive supply

149
00:06:39,766 --> 00:06:42,636
of superlative substances.

150
00:06:42,703 --> 00:06:45,513
(STAMMERS) Say what?

151
00:06:45,573 --> 00:06:48,313
to achieve
ascendancy in today's tempestuous tournament.

152
00:06:48,376 --> 00:06:49,636
There's no way
you understood most of those words

153
00:06:49,710 --> 00:06:50,740
you just said, Perfect.

154
00:06:50,811 --> 00:06:52,611
PETER: Drat!

155
00:06:56,517 --> 00:06:59,547
but mine has never been
dolefully endowed.

156
00:06:59,619 --> 00:07:03,559
I.Q.: Drat!

157
00:07:03,624 --> 00:07:05,194
equaled the unparalleled
excellence

158
00:07:05,259 --> 00:07:06,789
of Bella and his brother.
(GRUNTS)

159
00:07:06,861 --> 00:07:11,531
Well said, my superlatively
sibilant sibling.

160
00:07:11,598 --> 00:07:12,868
(LAUGHS)

161
00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:15,243
Okay, this is freaking me out.

162
00:07:15,302 --> 00:07:17,202
You all sound like... Oh!

163
00:07:17,271 --> 00:07:21,211
They sound like me!

164
00:07:21,275 --> 00:07:23,275
blithering on about,
you purple pinhead?

165
00:07:23,344 --> 00:07:27,424
Look who's talking.

166
00:07:27,481 --> 00:07:29,951
Because, Perfect,
I fixed you all!

167
00:07:30,017 --> 00:07:34,047
PETER: Oh, drat!

168
00:07:34,121 --> 00:07:36,221
Huh?

169
00:07:36,290 --> 00:07:39,990
(ALL GRUNTING)

170
00:07:40,060 --> 00:07:41,960
You all look interesting.

171
00:07:42,030 --> 00:07:43,660
-Is this
the Halloween episode? -MUTTLEY: Drat!

172
00:07:43,730 --> 00:07:46,000
MUTTLEY: Razzle, razzle.

173
00:07:46,067 --> 00:07:48,237
-Don't bother your
bamboozled brain, Brick. -Hey!

174
00:07:48,302 --> 00:07:50,072
This isn't some holistically
hapless holiday.

175
00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:51,737
PETER: Drat! Drat!
Oh, drat!

176
00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:53,875
This day is race day.

177
00:07:53,942 --> 00:07:57,812
-Whoa!
-My sense-shattering success is soon assured.

178
00:07:57,879 --> 00:08:02,419
Nonsense.
The tournament's trophy is tantamount to Tiny's. Drat!

179
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:03,822
Oh, I see.

180
00:08:03,885 --> 00:08:06,815
You're all invading, alien,
pod-people duplicates.

181
00:08:06,887 --> 00:08:07,987
Good to know.

182
00:08:08,055 --> 00:08:09,555
Aliens! Aliens!

183
00:08:09,624 --> 00:08:11,734
Aliens are here,
run for your lives!

184
00:08:11,792 --> 00:08:12,842
Aliens!

185
00:08:18,065 --> 00:08:22,195
(TIRES SCREECHING)

186
00:08:22,269 --> 00:08:23,469
(LAUGHS CUNNINGLY)

187
00:08:23,536 --> 00:08:25,966
(GRUNTS)

188
00:08:26,039 --> 00:08:27,169
Drat!

189
00:08:27,241 --> 00:08:29,911
(LAUGHING WICKEDLY) Hmm.

190
00:08:29,977 --> 00:08:34,147
Ah-ha!

191
00:08:34,214 --> 00:08:36,054
Double drat! (GROANS)

192
00:08:36,116 --> 00:08:39,716
(BELLA LAUGHING WICKEDLY)

193
00:08:39,786 --> 00:08:44,116
Bleh!

194
00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:45,961
-BOTH: Hmm?
-TINY: Ah!

195
00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:47,826
(BELLA CONTINUES LAUGHING)

196
00:08:47,894 --> 00:08:51,304
(BOTH SCREAMING)

197
00:08:51,365 --> 00:08:52,595
(LAUGHING WICKEDLY)

198
00:08:52,666 --> 00:08:55,766
(BEEPING)

199
00:08:55,837 --> 00:08:58,607
Car, fire a fiendish frenzy
of photon.

200
00:08:58,673 --> 00:09:01,313
CAR:Did you say, "Ironically incinerate I.Q.

201
00:09:01,375 --> 00:09:03,575
"in an inferno of his own illicit ingenuity"?

202
00:09:03,644 --> 00:09:07,394
What? No!
Quadruple drat!

203
00:09:11,119 --> 00:09:13,989
Who put this smoking debris
in my path to delay me?

204
00:09:14,055 --> 00:09:16,685
Your moldering manner
isn't mollifying me.

205
00:09:16,757 --> 00:09:19,687
I know this was
your preposterous ploy to preclude my progress.

206
00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:22,530
It's all your fault
that I can't win this race!

207
00:09:22,596 --> 00:09:24,366
It's your fault
I can't win.

208
00:09:24,431 --> 00:09:26,771
-It's your fault.
-Nah-ah, it's yours.

209
00:09:26,833 --> 00:09:29,343
(ALL ARGUING)

210
00:09:29,403 --> 00:09:31,343
You keep stopping
to set cliched,

211
00:09:31,405 --> 00:09:33,765
old-school traps
for the racers behind you,

212
00:09:33,841 --> 00:09:36,481
instead of just going on
to finish the race.

213
00:09:36,544 --> 00:09:41,014
It doesn't make any sense.

214
00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:42,081
And to me.

215
00:09:42,149 --> 00:09:43,449
And to me. Bleh.

216
00:09:43,517 --> 00:09:46,247
I most assiduously agree.
(GROANS)

217
00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:49,060
Your behavior
just defies reason.

218
00:09:49,122 --> 00:09:50,962
I can't stand it anymore.

219
00:09:51,024 --> 00:09:55,364
Muttley, rub the lamp.

220
00:09:55,429 --> 00:10:00,029
I was in the shower.

221
00:10:00,101 --> 00:10:03,641
you advanced upon
these addled-brained atrocities.

222
00:10:03,703 --> 00:10:05,013
In English, pal.

223
00:10:05,072 --> 00:10:06,942
Make them like
they used to be.

224
00:10:07,007 --> 00:10:09,877
It's your nickel, bub.

225
00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:11,083
Whoo, what happened?

226
00:10:11,145 --> 00:10:13,845
Where are we?

227
00:10:13,915 --> 00:10:16,275
video games instead of
just playing the game?

228
00:10:16,350 --> 00:10:17,350
Who are you?

229
00:10:17,418 --> 00:10:19,018
I'm Dastardly's genie.

230
00:10:19,086 --> 00:10:21,116
What? You have
a magic genie?

231
00:10:21,188 --> 00:10:23,518
Yes. And I have
one wish left.

232
00:10:23,591 --> 00:10:25,391
A wish without the possibility

233
00:10:25,459 --> 00:10:27,289
of ironic lesson-giving.

234
00:10:27,361 --> 00:10:28,861
Give it your best shot.

235
00:10:28,929 --> 00:10:30,899
I want to win.

236
00:10:30,965 --> 00:10:34,365
There is no possible way
to misinterpret this request.

237
00:10:34,435 --> 00:10:36,665
I don't want to come in
fifth or fourth.

238
00:10:36,737 --> 00:10:39,437
Not third place
or number two.

239
00:10:39,507 --> 00:10:43,107
I wish to be number one!

240
00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:45,714
Drat.

241
00:10:45,780 --> 00:10:47,250
BRICK: The race
is back underway

242
00:10:47,314 --> 00:10:49,054
But first,
I'd just like to say

243
00:10:49,116 --> 00:10:51,186
welcome to our new
alien overlords!

244
00:10:51,252 --> 00:10:53,652
And if you need
the collaboration of a compliant, amoral media

245
00:10:53,721 --> 00:10:56,721
to keep the earthling
meat sacks docile until harvesting,

246
00:10:56,790 --> 00:10:58,130
I'm available.

247
00:10:58,192 --> 00:11:00,162
Hurry, you pokey pooch!

248
00:11:00,227 --> 00:11:02,397
(SNICKERING)

249
00:11:02,447 --> 00:11:06,997
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